Stop Blocking

  You may or may not know that I spent this past Sunday rocking @ an event called The Sweet Spot in NYC. The Sweet Spot is an Erotic Poetry Event which features live music, burlesque dance, fashion show, visual arts and of course erotic poetry. During this event our lovely host, Ms. Ingrid B, brought  up a great point regarding female body language. Many of the African American women in the audience were sitting with their arms crossed and Ingrid noticed this and called them out explaining to them that they are blocking their penis blessings. Then she proceeded to point out how the Latina sisters and Asian sisters were sitting in a more open fashion which is why our men are quicker to try an pick up a woman of another race because they come off as less abrasive.
There was a recent study conducted by a university in the US in an effort to define which 'race' of women were the most attractive and the study concluded that African American women were the least attractive because we have higher levels of testosterone in our bodies than any other 'race' of women, thus making us the more masculine of the female gender. I personally don't like the word choice used in this conclusion and disagree with the conclusion because it's my opinion that having these higher levels of testosterone make us best suited for survival and thus the most desirable mate when considering the strength and continuation of your bloodline. However, these two observations do bring to light and call into question a very important aspect of dating; What does your body language say and are you actually blocking yourself from meeting Mr. Right?
We all know that communication is more than just words, as there is a number of communication exchanges that happen just from our body language alone. There are even new discoveries in physics that suggest that we communicate through the electromagnetic fields in our bodies long before we even ever physically see another person in the space. This being the case you have to ask yourself what type of 'vibe' (electromagnetic pulse) are you giving off? Is it one that is inviting? Is it one that says, I'll walk all over you? Is it one that says I'm desperate?
 We all have our days when we don't want to be hit on and we just want to have a good time & then we have our days when we're actually out on the hunt and are trying to be picked or are doing the bagging ourselves. Have you ever noticed that the days you don't want to be hit on are typically the days when you get hit on the most?  I believe this happens because on those days our guard is down, we're more relaxed and open which makes us more approachable. Think about it from a male perspective. Men are in a hostile environment all day, they have to fight for seat on the train, compete with their co-workers for promotions and recognition at work and or deal with a boss who is less than understanding (often at a job he hates anyways LOL), they have tons of pressure to make a certain level of income and maintain a certain level of disconnection from their emotions in order to be considered a man by American Social Standards. So when it comes to finding a mate, the last thing he wants to do is put himself in another hostile environment where he feels he will have to defend his honor and go to extremes just to have the opportunity to prove to you that he's a worthy mate. So why would I holla at the lady with her arms crossed and her face balled up when I could holla at the lady who's sitting with open arms and laughing it up with her friends?
So stop blocking yourself, uncross your arms, cross your legs at the ankles and slap a smile on your face :). it's really that simple LOL. Don't believe me? Test it out for yourself. Go out one day and walk down your block, arms swinging while thinking of something that makes you smile (a song, a joke anything) and just watch how many men will stop to compliment your and or to holla.